A loser's lullaby

My small senseless life is as black as the night
There's nothing I'll reach becouse I dislike to fight
I think of rules like of bars from a cage
This nasty thinking fills me up with rage
I have no thru companion, no closest friend
And I will not have one until my own end
I'm caged in myself, I can't venture out
Damn this situation, I'm really not proud

I am as passive as bubblegum
Nothing will bring me to try a run
And so I have lost before I've begun
'Cause you can't win when you don't try to run
I see for my life not one only perspective
I can't decide free, my life is restrictive
I've made my testament before I was born
My mind, my soul, it's all internally torn

One of my problems is: I have no aim
To live or be death, for me it's the same
One of my others is: I have no luck
It seems to me that I only can suck
One of my wishes is the end of all days
And all of my others goes in similar ways
I'm driven by instinct, I'm ruled by flesh
To realize that was a real hard dash

Im looking for someone I can blame
For that my life is such a shame
I have not choosen that I was born
As an ugly duckling and not as a swan
That I am a fool that depends not on me
I'm not responsible for my destiny
So who shoulders the weight of my fucked up life
And takes on the guilt that cuts like a knife

So I pray for salvation, each day for each day
That I am not happy is needless to say
I really hate this nasty world of shit
So suicide is what I will commit
So death will be my own solution
A quick and silent execution

Perhaps I'll throw myself in front of a train
Just to let more other people share my pain

(c) 2003 by Daniel Hartmann